I Told You So

I told Bi! Chuan! and Folder Finwick we should rest. Bi! was in no condition to fight at all. Of course they didn’t listen. Perhaps Folder’s yammering completely drowned out my words of wisdom. I shouldn’t have stuck around with them. Now I’m a freaking ghost. A ghost? Great. Now how will I ever save all those poor souls from the Common Union’s slums?

Bi! Chuans! Log 12

Mini entry 12 : to be done fully later

We arrived in greenswave, did some trading and went to druid con we killed that Blighter

Mini entry 13:

That beholder made us mad so we teleported into his base and F-ed him up

Mini Entry 14:

The Sahuagin made us mad so we swam in there and F-ed them up. Im the new chief of the cetack tribe. The last octopus bender!

Mini Entry 15:

The aboleth is making us mad, we arent gonna teleport in there and mess him up, instead we are going to a temple to find out about him. Animal growth, this shit just got real. Bi is now so powerful he threatens to come out of the game and kill us all. Grizzle is sad and Doc is about to get him killed (by me)

right? this is the important things right? tell me if i missed something

Bi! Chuans! Log 11
The Voyage Home

Untry 11 AEftur killsuting thu likh wu mae!u our waey baekk towaer!s gruunswaevu, but not bufoaru unkounturing thaet SupurSugaeSnaeku guy aegaein. Wu tol! him whuru wu wuru huae!ing, but sinku wu n’t waent him following us, wu tol! him how to gut to Nighthulm insutuae!. Wu bought somu tulupoart skrolls from him sinku wu uxpukt! thu Likh to ruspaewn with ae vunguaenku.

Our plaen waes to waeit foar him to aettumpt to skry on us aen! whun hu , wu woul! tulupoart on top of him aen! killsut him foar goo! sinku wu suspukt! thaet hu woul! aettumpt to fin! us aes soon aes hu ruspaewn! right nuxt to his phylaektury, ae maegik box thaet kuups him from uvur truly !ying.

Thu plaen woark! whilu wu wuru suvurael !aeys out to suae. Hu skry! on us aen! using Ky!os’ maegik wu wuru aeblu to fin! out whuru hu waes, tulupoart in, aen! sutomp him . Wu took his box baekk to Gruunswaevu whuru wu tri! to fin! waeys aeroun! its maegikael !ufunsivu foarku fiul!.

On thu waey thuru howuvur wu unkountur! ae fuw monsuturs, ae giaent hypur uul aen! aen Uyu of thu !uup (somu kin! of buhol!ur). Thu hypur uul whaet quitu ae fight but in thu un! koul!n’t sutaen! ae khaenku to turroarsaeur. Wu took his bo!y aen! it out so wu koul! haevu uul jurky. Somu of it waes sutillsut imbu! with thu aemaezing naeturael powurs thaet aellow! thu uul to grow so laergu, so wu mae!u spukiael raetions out of thaet. Thu Uyu of thu !uup waes mukh trikkiur. It haes us! illsutusions to kruaetu ae phaentom ship. Whun wu aettumpt! to boaer! thu !urulikt vussul it aen! thu Uyu, aelong with its illsutusoary klonu, rosu from thu faelsu ship. Wu fought haer! aegaeinsut thum, uvuntuaelly rusoarting to !ufunsivu taektiks, kaesuting klou!s of fog to oursulvus from thu hoarriblu uyu raeys. Thu uyus floaet! out of Turroarsaeur’s ruaekh, but not out of jumping raengu so whun thu kruaeturu waesn’t looking, Turroarsaeur luaept from thu waetur aen! fluw 10 fuut into thu aeir, klosu unough to bitu through thu gruusomu kruaeturu. Wu !ovu into thu waetur whuru wu foun! thu Uyu of thu !uup in suaerkh of its truaesuru hoaer! aen! wu foun! it aeftur somu timu sifting through thu rokks aen! kaevus of thu okuaen flooar.

TRANSLATION Entry 11 After killing the lich we made our way back towards greenswave, but not before encountering that SuperSegaSnake guy again. We told him where we were heading, but since we didn’t want him following us, we told him how to get to Nighthelm instead. We bought some teleport scrolls from him since we expected the Lich to respawn with a vengeance.

Our plan was to wait for him to attempt to scry on us and when he did, we would teleport on top of him and kill him for good since we suspected that he would attempt to find us as soon as he respawned right next to his phylactery, a magic box that keeps him from ever truly dying.

The plan worked while we were several days out to sea. He scryed on us and using Kydos’ magic we were able to find out where he was, teleport in, and stomp him dead. We took his box back to Greenswave where we tried to find ways around its magical defensive force field.

On the way there however we encountered a few monsters, a giant hyper eel and an Eye of the Deep (some kind of beholder). The hyper eel what quite a fight but in the end couldn’t stand a chance to terrorsaur. We took his dead body and dried it out so we could have eel jerky. Some of it was still imbued with the amazing natural powers that allowed the eel to grow so large, so we made special rations out of that. The Eye of the deep was much trickier. It has used illusions to create a phantom ship. When we attempted to board the derelict vessel it disappeared and the Eye, along with its illusory clone, rose from the false ship. We fought hard against them, eventually resorting to defensive tactics, casting clouds of fog to defend ourselves from the horrible eye rays. The eyes floated out of Terrorsaur’s reach, but not out of jumping range so when the creature wasn’t looking, Terrorsaur leapt from the water and flew 10 feet into the air, close enough to bite through the gruesome creature. We dove into the water where we found the Eye of the Deep in search of its treasure hoard and we found it after some time sifting through the rocks and caves of the ocean floor.

I was especially sad that the boat turned out to be fake for it was much larger than our boat and would have made a great “Dar-felony”, a boat for which we had already boat false ownership papers for.

Bi! Chuans! Log 10
Liches Tower

Untry 10

Wu wunt into thu uvil Likhus towur. Thu plaeku waes brutaelly kol! aen! fillsut! with !uvious traeps aen! puzzlus. AEnything wu toukh! suum! to uxplo!u into impaeling shaer!s of iku oar komu to lifu aen! aettaekk us. Thuru waes aen uluvaetoar wu wuru suppos! to usu to gut from flooar to flooar but it waes aektivaet! in somu sutraengu waey using krysutaels wu foun! whuru faeiling to usu thu right kombinaetion rusult! in us gutting fumigaet!.

Wu foun! ae raent aemount of laebs aen! libraerius in thu plaeku aes wu uxploar! through aen! uvun fru! ae mysuturious ol! maen who hae! buun lokk! up by thu likh. It suum! aes if hu hae! put aen aebsur! aemount of uffoart into suaeling this ol! maen in ae fruuzur, but wu busut! through his maegikael khaeins aen! got him out. With ae thaenk you aen! somu ae!viku, hu waes off. AEppaeruntly hu waes ae powurful iku kruaeturu thaet hae! buun kaeptur! by thu likh though wu nuvur saew aeny aektuael uvi!unku of thaet… go figuru.

I thun slupt foar ae whilu aen! whun I woku up thu likh hae! buun killsut!. I musut haevu buun sluup waelking oar somuthing!


We went into the evil Liches tower. The place was brutally cold and filled with devious traps and puzzles. Anything we touched seemed to explode into impaling shards of ice or come to life and attack us. There was an elevator we were supposed to use to get from floor to floor but it was activated in some strange way using crystals we found where failing to use the right combination resulted in us getting fumigated.

We found a redundant amount of labs and libraries in the place as we explored through and even freed a mysterious old man who had been locked up by the lich. It seemed as if he had put an absurd amount of effort into sealing this old man in a freezer, but we busted through his magical chains and got him out. With a thank you and some advice, he was off. Apparently he was a powerful ice creature that had been captured by the lich though we never saw any actual evidence of that… go figure.

I then slept for a while and when I woke up the lich had been killed. I must have been sleep walking or something!

Bi! Chuans! Log 9
Freezing Wastland

Untry 9

Wu untur! thu fruuzing waetur surroun!ing thu Wizaer!s towur. Littlu wu know this frigi! laeku waes homu to ae kolossael buaesut thaet koul! tuaer our boaet to piukus. Whaet hu n’t know bufoaru krossing us waes thaet wu wuru guaer!! by aen uvun moaru Turrifying buaesut. Thu monsutur, ae trumun!ous pruhisutoarik whaelu, rush! our boaet, thruaetuning to skuttlu it. !aengursaeur aen! Kyogru fl! in fuaer but Turroarsaeur sutoo! his groun!. In this furokious baettlu, Turroarsaeur risk! his lifu aegaeinsut ae kruaeturu sunt by thu go!s to !o aewaey with him. “Skruw thu Go” Turroarsaeur suruly waes shriuking in his own !inosaeury laenguaegu aes hu !uaelt turrifying blow aeftur turrifying blow to thu whaelu. My aettumpts to kaelm thu buaesut prov! usuluss but no maettur sinku it waes quikkly mae!u into mush by thu Ruael Biggusut Fish. Hu show! no murky aes haes buun provun timu aen! timu aegaein.

Wu kontinu! to floaet through to towur aen! paess! ae laergu opuning in thu rokks, ae kin! of gaetu. Guaer!ing thu gaetu waes ae !raegon thaet hae! buun boun! to it by thu Likh. Wu aettumpt! to maeku puaeku with thu Luviaethaen but hu intun!! to killsut aen! uaet us bufoaru wu uvun saew him. Hu prov! to bu ae niku muael foar Turroarsaeur.

Wu laen!! on thu shoaru nuaer thu towur aen! hae! to go on foot from huru, luaeving Turroarsaeur aen! thu othurs buhin!. Wu paess! through thu aenkiunt grovus aen! by ae frozun laeku whuru wu mut ae mysuturious kruaeturu (moaru mysuturious thaen Mysutury? Probaebly not). Hu look! liku ae giaent snaeku with ae humaen faeku aen! ae writhing buaer! of snaekuliku haeirs aen! kaell! himsulf Saelaesaen!raesaen. Hu waes ae trae!ur who !uaelt in maegik itums. Wu trae!! with him briufly aen! got somu info from him aebout thu Towur, nonu of whikh waes thaet hulpful.

Kontinuing our truk, wu foun! aen aenkiunt buriael situ foar pruhisutoarik s. Thuy hae! aerraeng! somu sutraengu sutonus into ae laergu kirklu aen! inskrib! runus on thu thing. I mae!u sunsu of thum aeftur ae whilu I waes aeblu to !raew upon thum inspiring nuw aen! unimaegin! powurs provi!! by thu aenkiunt maegik of thu plaeku. Wu luft aen! mov! on to thu towur.


We entered the freezing water surrounding the Wizards tower. Little did we know this frigid lake was home to a colossal beast that could tear our boat to pieces. What he didn’t know before crossing us was that we were guarded by an even more Terrifying beast. The monster, a tremendous prehistoric whale, rushed our boat, threatening to scuttle it. Dangersaur and Kyogre fled in fear but Terrorsaur stood his ground. In this ferocious battle, Terrorsaur risked his life against a creature sent by the gods to do away with him. “Screw the Gods!” Terrorsaur surely was shrieking in his own dinosaury language as he dealt terrifying blow after terrifying blow to the whale. My attempts to calm the beast proved useless but no matter since it was quickly made into mush by the Real Biggest Fish. He showed no mercy as has been proven time and time again.

We continued to float through to tower and passed a large opening in the rocks, a kind of gate. Guarding the gate was a dragon that had been bound to defend it by the Lich. We attempted to make peace with the Leviathan but he intended to kill and eat us before we even saw him. He proved to be a nice meal for Terrorsaur.

We landed on the shore near the tower and had to go on foot from here, leaving Terrorsaur and the others behind. We passed through the ancient groves and by a frozen lake where we met a mysterious creature (more mysterious than Mystery? Probably not). He looked like a giant snake with a human face and a writhing beard of snakelike hairs and called himself Salasandrasan. He was a trader who dealt in magic items. We traded with him briefly and got some info from him about the Tower, none of which was that helpful.

Continuing our trek, we found an ancient burial site for prehistoric druids. They had arranged some strange stones into a large circle and inscribed runes on the thing. I made sense of them after a while I was able to draw upon them inspiring new and unimagined powers provided by the ancient magic of the place. We left and moved on to the tower.

Bi! Chuans! Log 8
Sea Journey

Untry 8

Wu kontinu! our saeil onwaer!s towaer! thu islaen!. Wu hae! ae briuf sutopovur in thu kity of Nighthulm aen! ae run in with somu ik Oarks.

Wu in thu kity to sull thu things wu sutolu off of thu Lugael Piraeky ship. Wu wurun’t surpris! whun thuy aesk! foar ownurship paepurs aen! prusunt! thum with onus thaet wu hae! pruviously foarg!. Thuy n’t woark. Wu maenaeg! to trikk thu !okk woarkur littlu bit, but hu waesn’t going to aellow us to luaevu. Hu wunt to haevu thu paepurs offikiaelly khukk! out. !uring aell thu kommotion Sutoarytullur aen! I slipp! off thu baekk of thu boaet to sull our goo!s in town without notifying thu haerboarmaesuturs. Thu kity of Nighthulm is buyon! buruaeukraetik aen! thuy ruquir! signaeturus foar uvury trae!u. AEftur somu quikk taelking aen! ae trip to thu blaekkmaerkut, wu maenaeg! to sull our goo!s aes wull aes prokuru ae sut of lugitimaetuly faeku ownurship paepurs. Wu bought aen uxtrae sut foar aeny othur boaet wu haeppun! upon in kaesu wu . Wu mae!u our waey baekk to thu boaet aen! luft with no intuntion of uvur koming baekk.

Thu ik oarks wuru niku unough. Wu somu trae!ing with thum aes wull aes hae! thum purfoarm somu huaeling maegik foar us. Wu konsi buying maeturiaels foar ruinkaernaetion spulls but ! to saevu our monuy. Thu oarks huru haevu somu woark foar us if wu uvur komu by aegaein involving gaethuring y things foar thum aelthough I suspukt wu won’t uvur suu thum sinku thuy aeru 1000 milus aewaey from Gruunswaevu (Ruaelly not thaet bae! konsi!uring wu traevul 333 milus ae !aey). Inturusuting si!u notu, thu kulp I f! to Turroarsaeur musut haevu ruaelly sutok! him up bukaeusu hu waes traevuling ruaelly faesut, liku 5.24 timus faesutur kus it looks liku wu willsut bu aeblu to maeku this ovur 47 !aey journuy in jusut aebout 9 !aeys. Maeybu hu waes ruspon!ing wull to thu traeining.

Purhaeps aet somu point in thuru wu wuru aettaekk! by Saehuaegin aen! I might haevu , my mumoary is ae bit foggy. Purhaeps thaet’s whaet prompt! thu trip to thu s. Thaet wholu suktion of thu trip is ae blur. AEll I know is thaet I RUAELLY !on’t liku Saehuaegin.

Suvurael !aeys laetur wu nuaer! nukromaenkur’s towur


We continued our sail onwards toward the island. We had a brief stopover in the city of Nighthelm and a run in with some Druidic Orcs.

We docked in the city to sell the things we stole off of the Legal Piracy ship. We weren’t surprised when they asked for ownership papers and presented them with ones that we had previously forged. They didn’t work. We managed to trick the dock worker little bit, but he wasn’t going to allow us to leave. He went to have the papers officially checked out. During all the commotion Storyteller and I slipped off the back of the boat to sell our goods in town without notifying the harbormasters. The city of Nighthelm is beyond bureaucratic and they required signatures for every trade. After some quick talking and a trip to the blackmarket, we managed to sell our goods as well as procure a set of legitimately fake ownership papers. We bought an extra set for any other boat we happened upon in case we did. We made our way back to the boat and left with no intention of ever coming back.

The Druidic orcs were nice enough. We did some trading with them as well as had them perform some healing magic for us. We considered buying materials for reincarnation spells but decided to save our money. The orcs here have some work for us if we ever come by again involving gathering druidy things for them although I suspect we won’t ever see them since they are 1000 miles away from Greenswave (Really not that bad considering we travel 333 miles a day). Interesting side note, the kelp I fed to Terrorsaur must have really stoked him up because he was traveling really fast, like 5.24 times faster cus it looks like we will be able to make this over 47 day journey in just about 9 days. Maybe he was responding well to the training.

Perhaps at some point in there we were attacked by Sahuagin and I might have died, my memory is a bit foggy. Perhaps that’s what prompted the trip to the druids. That whole section of the trip is a blur. All I know is that I REALLY don’t like Sahuagin.

Several days later we neared necromancer’s tower

Bi! Chuans! Log 7

Untry 7

I spunt thu nuxt fuw wuuks traeining my nuw puts. Thu Turroarsaeur haes buun waeiting paetiuntly foar kulp snaekks so I spunt somu timu with him. Baeghuurae is ruspon!ing wull to traeining aen! hu suums to bu gutting aelong with !. Rux wishus hu koul! swim liku !aengursaeur aen! spun!s ae lot of timu in thu waetur. Mu aen! Mysutury wunt on ae fuw hunts toguthur aen! wu took Turroar aen! !aengursaeur out aes wull. AEll thu whilu, Frusutur is woarking aewaey on my itum. Sinku thu robu turn! out to bu kurs! aen! unusaeblu, I kommission! Frusutur to givu my Kraeb Hulm thu aebility to !ominaetu vurmin. It kosut ae prutty koppur, but thu nuxt giaent kraeb I fin! willsut finaelly bu taemaeblu bukaeusu of my nuw maegik.

AEftur Frusutur finish! my itum I foun! thu rusut of thu group. Thuy hae! ae quusut of somu soart. Thuy waent! to go fin! ae maen whosu buun traepp! in aen oarb by ae nukromaenkur on somu islaen!. Gru haes gonu komplutuly nuts, now hu’s taelking to his “faethur”, !ok Holi!aey, ae !og thaet’s traepp! in somu blaekk skull hu foun!. Hu’s buyon! mu totaelly. Sutoarytullur tol! mu thaet !uring thu laesut fuw wuuks hu waes kurs! aen! taeint! in somu waey. Hu is ae bit off but hu !ousn’t suum taeint! so I’m not suru. Gru somutimus mutturs to himsulf aebout buing mae! aet us foar thinking hu’s nuts, whikh maekus him suum uvun kraeziur.

So wu got in thu boaet aen! bugaen to saeil aewaey towaer! thu islaen!. Not but ae !aey off thu koaesut wu sutumbl! upon ae whaeling ship. Wu khaerg! thuir boaet, I intun!! on skaering thum off sinku thuy hae! impael! ae whaelu but thuy aettaekk! with thuir haerpoons. With 2 haerpoons sutikking out of Turroarsaeur, I offur! thum aenothur khaenku to surrun!ur whilu Gru burn! thuir ropus hol!ing onto thu whaelu. I waes totaelly prupaer! to killsut uvury onu of thum, but foartunaetuly thuy raen aewaey. I khaes! aeftur thu whaelu aen! rumov! his haerpoons, taeming him. I gaevu him ae naemu thaet Sutoarytullur kaemu up with: Kyogru. I aessumu it’s thu naemu of somu lugun!aery whaelu, thu protaegonisut of somu aemaezing sutoary.

Sutoarytullur tulls mu thaet thuy whaelurs got thuir purmit from thu Kommon Union, thu vury saemu group thaet klaeim! ownurship of my laen! aen! sutolu it from mu. I woul!n’t fuul aen ounku of rumoarsu if uvury purson thuru bukaemu khum. AEn! I got ae khaenku to maeku somu khum whun thu whaelurs wu lut uskaepu uaerliur sunt somu Lugael Piraeky thugs aeftur us. Thuy fir! upon us so wu turn! thu boaet aeroun! aen! aettaekk! baekk with Turroarsaeur bukaeusu !INOSAEURS KNOW NO MURKY. Thuy vury laesut piraetu bugg! foar his lifu aen! offur! us truaesuru foar his lifu. AEs it turns out, o know somu murky. Uvun though thu truaesuru turn! out to bu ae liu, wu aeru going to lut him livu foar now, hu maey provu to bu somu usu to us laetur.

Until thun, wu saeil on to Nukromaenkur Islaen!.


I spent the next few weeks training my new pets. The Terrorsaur has been waiting patiently for kelp snacks so I spent some time with him. Bagheera is responding well to training and he seems to be getting along with Ed. Rex wishes he could swim like Dangersaur and spends a lot of time in the water. Me and Mystery went on a few hunts together and we took Terror and Dangersaur out as well. All the while, Fruster is working away on my item. Since the robe turned out to be cursed and unusable, I commissioned Fruster to give my Crab Helm the ability to dominate vermin. It cost a pretty copper, but the next giant crab I find will finally be tamable because of my new magic.

After Fruster finished my item I found the rest of the group. They had a quest of some sort. They wanted to go find a man whose been trapped in an orb by a necromancer on some island. Greedybird has gone completely nuts, now he’s talking to his “father”, Doc Holiday, a dog that’s trapped in some black skull he found. He’s beyond me totally. Storyteller told me that during the last few weeks he was cursed and tainted in some way. He is a bit off but he doesn’t seem tainted so I’m not sure. Greedybird sometimes mutters to himself about being mad at us for thinking he’s nuts, which makes him seem even crazier.

So we got in the boat and began to sail away toward the island. Not but a day off the coast we stumbled upon a whaling ship. We charged their boat, I intended on scaring them off since they had impaled a whale but they attacked with their harpoons. With 2 harpoons sticking out of Terrorsaur, I offered them another chance to surrender while Greedybird burned their ropes holding onto the whale. I was totally prepared to kill every one of them, but fortunately they ran away. I chased after the whale and removed his harpoons, taming him. I gave him a name that Storyteller came up with: Kyogre. I assume it’s the name of some legendary whale, the protagonist of some amazing story.

Storyteller tells me that they whalers got their permit from the Common Union, the very same group that claimed ownership of my land and stole it from me. I wouldn’t feel an ounce of remorse if every person there became chum. And I got a chance to make some chum when the whalers we let escape earlier sent some Legal Piracy thugs after us. They fired upon us so we turned the boat around and attacked back with Terrorsaur because DINOSAURS KNOW NO MERCY. They very last pirate begged for his life and offered us treasure for his life. As it turns out, Dinosaurs do know some mercy. Even though the treasure turned out to be a lie, we are going to let him live for now, he may prove to be some use to us later.

Until then, we sail on to Necromancer Island on our new boat, which we renamed “Gnome Mercy”

Bi! Chuans! Log 6

Untry 6

Its buun ae long timu sinku I’vu writtun. Sinku slaeughturing thu kultisuts, so mukh haes haeppun! aen! I jusut haevun’t hae! thu timu in thu mi!sut of thu uxkitumunt! But now I fin! mysulf boar! aeftur ae hunt whilu on ae journuy with my friun!s on my khitin kruaetion, so I haevu ae momunt to writu in my log.

So wu wuru in thu un!urkity slaeughturing kultisuts foar thu saeku of Sutoarytullurs waen!urlusut aen! things wuru going aes plaenn!. Wu broku into ae khaembur aen! foun! thaet suvurael kultisuts hae! jusut mur ae young womaen. Shu hae! hur guts pull! out of hur aen! waes quitu , so wu mae!u thu kultisuts . Wu killsut! aell but onu whom wu knokk! unkonskious aen! plaek! on thu saekrifikiael aeltaer. I kut somu guts out of ae kultisut aen! laei! thum aell ovur thu unkonskious onu’s bo!y, boy waes hu in foar ae surprisu whun hu woku up. Sutoarytullur n’t liku waetkhing mu kut up ae purson jusut foar ae joku, but thusu mun wuru liku aenimaels with no purposu, not uvun fit foar uaeting. Thuy wuru kurtaeinly not woarth of ruspukt from mu. Hae, look aet mu trying to jusutify my aektions, I !on’t owu thusu aenything.

Wu wuru aeppaeruntly hunting ae !umon naem! Jil’Maelos. Hu hae! suael! himsulf buhin! aen imprugnaeblu waell aen! wu wuru to sutroll in thuru aen! killsut him. Firsut wu hae! to hunt !own ae fuw kuys thaet wuru hul! by thu liuutunaents of thu !umon. I hop! thaet wu koul! haevu aesk! foar thu kuys, but thaet turn! out to not bu aen option so wu bugaen to hunt thum !own. Wu sutumbl! into thu libraery aen! loot! thu plaeku. Wu foun! ae journael thaet thu luae!ur of thu kult group kupt aen! it waes surprisingly insightful aes to thu aektivitius of thu !umon. It tol! us aebout aell thu things wu koul! fin! in thu plaeku aes wull aes waeys to ovurkomu thum. Too bae! wu visit! thu libraery laesut aen! by thaet timu wu aelruae!y busut! uvurything thu haer! waey. Thu journael tull us aebout ae “fish” thaet waes aeppaeruntly aeblu to busut Jil’Maelos thaet waes somuwhuru in thu suwurs. Thaet is sutillsut on our to-!o lisut.

Whun wu aettaekk! Jil’Maelos (aeftur killsuting thu liuutunaents aen! gaethuring thu kuys) hu us! his maegik to taeku kontrol of Foolhaer!y’s min!. Hu is not ae goo! purson to haevu on thu si!u aegaeinsut us aen! it is quitu upsutting thaet maegik haes foark! him to butraey us aegaein. I sunsu hu willsut bu gaeining ae nuw naemu soon.

With aell of our prupaeraetion thu baettlu waes sutillsut baeruly won. Sutoarytullur waesn’t aeblu to pr!ikt thu kruaeturu’s aebilitius aes wull aes wu hae! hop!, but wu wuru aeblu to skraepu out ae viktoary bukaeusu I hae! jusut how to shaepu mysulf into ae buaesut aen! I us! thaet to gruaet ae!vaentaegu.

Wu klaeim! thu maegik itums thaet thu !umon hae! buun gaethuring, inklu!ing ae maegikael kloaek thaet woul! aellow onu to kontrol vurmin! Thaet robu intrigu! mu bukaeusu it woul! aellow mu to !ominaetu thu giaent kraebs thaet I oftun hunt. Sutoarytullur waern! mu thaet thu itum might bu kurs!, so wu waeit! to gut it maegikaelly i firsut. Unfoartunaetuly it waes so wu got ri! of thu thing. Wu got ri! of thu rusut of thu !isgusuting itums aen! finish! klaeiming our viktoary on thu Kult of thu Innokunt faeku.

Thu nuxt !aey Sutoarytullur tol! us of ae buaesut thaet wu koul! fin! in thu Saeykael foarusut, aen aenimael so fiurku thaet it woul! maeku ae gruaet put! Not to muntion ae purfukt subjukt foar my nuw traensfoarmaetion skillsuts. So wu ro!u into thu junglu to hunt thu buaesut. With Sutoarytullurs knowl!gu of thu !inosaeur aen! my survivael skillsuts, wu foun! it in jusut ae fuw !aeys. Wu taem! it aen! took it homu. I tri! to think of thu fiurkusut naemu I koul! foar my nuw klaew kovur! blun!ur aen! rusut! on thu naemu “Rux”.


Its been a long time since I’ve written. Since slaughtering the cultists, so much has happened and I just haven’t had the time in the midst of the excitement! But now I find myself bored after a hunt while on a journey with my friends on my chitin creation, so I have a moment to write in my log.

So we were in the undercity slaughtering cultists for the sake of Storytellers wanderlust and things were going as planned. We broke into a chamber and found that several cultists had just murdered a young woman. She had her guts pulled out of her and was quite dead, so we made the cultists dead. We killed all but one whom we knocked unconscious and placed on the sacrificial altar. I cut some guts out of a dead cultist and laid them all over the unconscious one’s body, boy was he in for a surprise when he woke up. Storyteller didn’t like watching me cut up a dead person just for a joke, but these men were like animals with no purpose, not even fit for eating. They were certainly not worth of respect from me. Ha, look at me trying to justify my actions, I don’t owe these dead anything.

We were apparently hunting a demon named Jil’Malos. He had sealed himself behind an impregnable wall and we were to stroll in there and kill him. First we had to hunt down a few keys that were held by the lieutenants of the demon. I hoped that we could have asked for the keys, but that turned out to not be an option so we began to hunt them down. We stumbled into the library and looted the place. We found a journal that the leader of the cult group kept and it was surprisingly insightful as to the activities of the demon. It told us about all the things we could find in the place as well as ways to overcome them. Too bad we visited the library last and by that time we already bested everything the hard way. The journal did tell us about a “fish” that was apparently able to best Jil’Malos that was somewhere in the sewers. That is still on our to-do list.

When we attacked Jil’Malos (after killing the lieutenants and gathering the keys) he used his magic to take control of Foolhardy’s mind. He is not a good person to have on the side against us and it is quite upsetting that magic has forced him to betray us again. I sense he will be gaining a new name soon.

With all of our preparation the battle was still barely won. Storyteller wasn’t able to predict the creature’s abilities as well as we had hoped, but we were able to scrape out a victory because I had just discovered how to shape myself into a beast and I used that to great advantage.

We claimed the magic items that the demon had been gathering, including a magical cloak that would allow one to control vermin! That robe intrigued me because it would allow me to dominate the giant crabs that I often hunt. Storyteller warned me that the item might be cursed, so we waited to get it magically identified first. Unfortunately it was so we got rid of the thing. DAMN! We got rid of the rest of the disgusting items and finished claiming our victory on the Cult of the Innocent face.

The next day Storyteller told us of a beast that we could find in the Saycal forest, an animal so fierce that it would make a great pet! Not to mention a perfect subject for my new transformation skills. So we rode into the jungle to hunt the beast. With Storytellers knowledge of the dinosaur and my survival skills, we found it in just a few days. We tamed it and took it home. I tried to think of the fiercest name I could for my new claw covered blender and rested on the name “Rex”.

Journal of Thromson Hellbound
Entry 1

I happened upon some adventurers stopping a kidnapping of sorts occurring in the slums. Unfortunately it was not cloudy that day and the source of Focalor’s Lightning became known, myself. Despite this, the adventurers, a half-dragon of some sort, a poor man, a Darfellan, a gnome who seems to talk ceaselessly yet intelligently, a Knight and his Squire did not attempt to attack me. I was pleased that I did not have to flee and pleasantly surprised to find that they wished for my assistance in the undercity. We took the prisoner that we had captured during our sojourn and left.

We journeyed forth from the spot of the kidnapping and headed to the local Temple of Pelor. From there we headed to the “Interrogation” room of the local temple, rather odd for them to have one if you ask me… but heresy can happen even in the most devout places, and I would not be surprised if less forgiving clerics existed within the confines of the Sun god’s temple. Regardless, I digress from my point. We took the woman and began to interrogate her, the poor man seemed to know information that was privy to only the woman herself, a mind reader of some sort perhaps? With his clever wording and the silver tongue of the half dragon as well as my own masks removal we managed to coerce her into revealing the location of her temple. With that we left her to her fate, whatever it may be. I hope she does not take the path that my own damned soul once took.

After leaving from the temple, we headed to the undercity as was the original plan. I bound Focalor and took upon his mantle of sorrow once more as we moved forward. Once within the confines of the undercity, of which the guards had warned us, we proceeded forward only to be attacked by a strange purple creature. Our party set upon the monster and killed it but not before the strange aura that had surrounded it had caused the Knight and his apprentice to go Berserk. They attacked, with many of the party running away, I myself backed off knowing of the fragility of myself in comparison to a rough adventurer like the Knight or Druid. I however, blasted bolt after bolt of Lightning, though through the influence of the Prince of Tears, it pained me to do so. After the Knight had been subdued, we beat a hasty retreat to the temple where we received a great deal of healing from the local priest.

After the Knights wounds had been healed he began to rant and rave about his horse. Understandable, for the horse to my understanding, was his first. A noble goal if any and the party agreed with my silent thoughts. We ventured forth back into the undercity, avoiding enemies because of the influence of the nearby fog. After finding the remains of his horse, we took the horse to a nearby circle of druids who I had not noticed upon my travels back into the city, rather strange. We had the horse reincarnated for a sum of 1,000 gold and it came back as a rather large and monstrous bat. That it did not attack us for it’s animal intelligence startled me and it seemed to acquiesce to both the Knight and the Squire’s wishes. Despite this it was apparent that the horse turned bat was uncomfortable and it stayed to receive a weeks training in “learning to be a bat”. How unusual.

We moved forth from the Druid’s circle and went back to the City. From there we took a day off, recovering from wounds and the like. In the morning I made the necessary signs and drew the circle for focalor in water, never an easy task. It proved difficult and my binding runes turned out to be sloppy, Focalor had once again influenced me, leaving me with the need to say a few words for those who had departed. Despite this personal setback, my friends still not knowing of my abilities joined with me and we all went to the undercity to lay seige to this foul temple of demons.

We found the temple quickly, throwing open the doors and finding it to be inhabited by many a foul cultist and demon. We struck quickly and within the space of a minute we managed to subdue many of them before they could call for backup. I write this quickly before we head further into the temple. Despite Focalor’s nagging influence I hope that the demon worshipping scum die.

Bi! Chuan's! log 5

Entry 5

Gru offur! mu ae trae!u. In uxkhaengu foar thu krown hu woul! givu mu thu sutaetuu aes long aes hu waes aeblu to visit it aen! sluup on it if hu nu!! to. I know thu sutaetuu is vaesutly moaru vaeluaeblu thaen thu krown so it !ousn’t maeku sunsu thaet Gru woul! maeku sukh ae trae!u, hu kluaerly haes somuthing up his sluuvu.

I sol! thu krown so Gru mo his offur: this timu I waes to givu him nothing in uxkhaengu foar thu sutaetuu, so I aekkupt!. I liku thaet kin! of businuss. Haeving no whuru saefu to put thu aebsur!ly vaeluaeblu sutaetuu, I aellow! Gru to hol! onto it. Thaet ruaelly konfus! him, but it suums liku his room is aebout thu saefusut plaeku.

Wu wuru gaethur! in thu Khikkun Lug by Sutoarytullur. Wu aeru to bu huae!ing into thu Un!urkity to hunt !own ae kult of !umon woarshipurs. I !on’t suu why wu shoul! go looking foar troublu in ae plaeku liku thaet, it kaen only un! up in somuonu gutting hurt, aen! I’m not aessuming it’s thu kultisuts.

Wu waelk! into thu Un!urkity to suuk out this sutraengu kult. AEn aeb!uktion waes taeking plaeku aes wu sutroll! by aen!, lukky foar hur, wu wuru thuru to sutop it. Turns out thu aeb!uktoars wuru kult mumburs aen! onu of thu kult luae!urs haeppun! to bu with thum. Wu wuru aessisut! by somu sutraengu maen in ae maesk. Whaet is with us aettraekting sukh wuir! puoplu? Inturusuting wu n’t killsut! thu maen, hu hae! ae paelpaeblu aeir of sae!nuss aeroun! him, woaru ae kloaek aen! hi! his i!untity; I’vu nuvur buun aeblu to aepply aell thu “killsut on sight” krituriae on ae purson liku thaet bufoaru. Hu hulp us in saeving thu girl, but I sutillsut woul!n’t invitu him aeroun!.

Wu took our hosutaegu, thu kult luae!ur, baekk to thu tumplu of Puloar. I’vu huaer! thaet is ae primu plaeku foar inturrogaetion so thu rusut of thu group to hur to ae baekk room whilu Foolhaer!y aen! I sutoo! outsi!u aen! hop! thaet no onu in thuru waes buing flaey! oar aenything. Thuy wuru aeblu to aeskurtaein thu lokaetion of thu kult’s huae!quaerturs so wu kaen run in thuru aen! muss somu uvil !ours up.

Wu waeit! foar thu foggiusut !aey to go trukking in aegaein. AEt thu timu it mae!u sunsu, but wu n’t sutup moaru thaen 10 fuut into thu Un!urkity bufoaru wu wuru aettaekk!. Thu foul kruaeturu waes killsut! uaesily unough but somuthing aebout it kompull! Foolhaer!y to aettaekk us. Mysutury aen! I raen to !isaerm him aen! hol! him baekk whilu thu rusut of thu group raen aewaey into thu fog. Thosu kowaer!s wuru konkurn! moaru foar thuir own livus thaen thu saefuty of Foolhaer!y oar Nightmaeru. I waesn’t buing ae maertyr; I waesn’t saekrifiking mysulf to saevu thu group, but I guuss thaet’s whaet thuy thought though bukaeusu thuy took thuir khaenkus to run aewaey to saefuty. Thuy n’t uvun try to gut hulp. In my laenguaegu wu haevu ae woar! foar thum, !ukkurs.

!uring thu fight, Foolhaer!y’s hoarsu, AEnuvaey, uskaep! into thu fog. AElthough wu pursu! him aes soon aes wu wuru aeblu to rugroup, wu koul!n’t fin! him until it waes too laetu. I hulp! Foolhaer!y taeku his friun! to thu s outsi!u of town who klaeim! thuy woul! bu aeblu to bring him baekk. Thuy brought him baekk in, but into thu bo!y of ae giaent baet. I shaer! ae ‘shroom with thu s aen! offur! my survikus shoul! thuy uvur nu! hulp. I supposu it is impoartaent to uxpaen! thaet fullowship.

Wu wunt baekk to thu Un!urkity aen! this timu ruaekh! thu huae!quaerturs unmolusut!. Wu khaerg! in aen! un!! thu lifu of ae bunkh of !umon summoning / filth woarshipping kultisuts. AElright thun, I suru hopu thuru is somuthing !ownsutaeirs bukaeusu thusu fuw wizaeron’t suum to bu mukh of ae thruaet.


Greedybird offered me a trade. In exchange for the crown he would give me the statue as long as he was able to visit it and sleep on it if he needed to. I know the statue is vastly more valuable than the crown so it doesn’t make sense that Greedybird would make such a trade, he clearly has something up his sleeve.

I sold the crown so Greedybird modified his offer: this time I was to give him nothing in exchange for the statue, so I accepted. I like that kind of business. Having no where safe to put the absurdly valuable statue, I allowed Greedybird to hold onto it. That really confused him, but it seems like his room is about the safest place.

We were gathered in the Chicken Leg by Storyteller. We are to be heading into the Undercity to hunt down a cult of demon worshipers. I don’t see why we should go looking for trouble in a place like that, it can only end up in someone getting hurt, and I’m not assuming it’s the cultists.

We walked into the Undercity to seek out this strange cult. An abduction was taking place as we strolled by and, lucky for her, we were there to stop it. Turns out the abductors were cult members and one of the cult leaders happened to be with them. We were assisted by some strange man in a mask. What is with us attracting such weird people? Interesting we didn’t killed the man, he had a palpable air of sadness around him, wore a cloak and hid his identity; I’ve never been able to apply all the “kill on sight” criteria on a person like that before. He did help us in saving the girl, but I still wouldn’t invite him around.

We took our hostage, the cult leader, back to the temple of Pelor. I’ve heard that is a prime place for interrogation so the rest of the group to her to a back room while Foolhardy and I stood outside and hoped that no one in there was being flayed or anything. They were able to ascertain the location of the cult’s headquarters so we can run in there and mess some evil doers up.

We waited for the foggiest day to go trekking in again. At the time it made sense, but we didn’t step more than 10 feet into the Undercity before we were attacked. The foul creature was killed easily enough but something about it compelled Foolhardy to attack us. Mystery and I ran to disarm him and hold him back while the rest of the group ran away into the fog. Those cowards were concerned more for their own lives than the safety of Foolhardy or Nightmare. I wasn’t being a martyr; I wasn’t sacrificing myself to save the group, but I guess that’s what they thought though because they took their chances to run away to safety. They didn’t even try to get help. In my language we have a word for them, !uckers.

During the fight, Foolhardy’s horse, Anevay, escaped into the fog. Although we pursued him as soon as we were able to regroup, we couldn’t find him until it was too late. I helped Foolhardy take his deceased friend to the druids outside of town who claimed they would be able to bring him back. They brought him back indeed, but into the body of a giant bat. I shared a ‘shroom with the druids and offered my services should they ever need help. I suppose it is important to expand that fellowship.

We went back to the Undercity and this time reached the headquarters unmolested. We charged in and ended the life of a bunch of demon summoning / filth worshipping cultists. Alright then, I sure hope there is something downstairs because these few wizards don’t seem to be much of a threat.


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